Jim Squire Registered Psychotherapist
Nobody sets out to have a failed marriage or relationship but over time we can find the people we seemingly love the most create the strongest negative emotional reactions in us or we can feel like strangers living separate lives. In couples therapy there are often very serious issues such as violence and infidelity however most of the time the complaints that are brought to therapy are what I consider surface issues such as finances, managing the kids or sharing household responsibilities. However the real issues have to do with our emotional connection and whether we feel our partner will be there when we need them and whether they will put us first. I have been extensive trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy or EFT which helps couples restore their emotional connection. Research studies have found approximately 90% of couples show significant improvements with EFT. In my work with couples I help them to have the awareness to understand their negative cycles and have the communication skills to effectively communicate their deepest needs.
A reality of human existence is we cannot see ourselves as clearly as others can. There are many reasons for this, mainly it boils down to how hard it is to look at ourselves honestly and objectively. Bonding is a large part of being healthy and consequently rejection, isolation and loss are incredibly hard to cope with . From our first moments we start to form attachments and these experiences influences our view of relationships as safe or unsafe and unpredictable, this understanding is thought to influence all future relationships.
Often through our childhood we have been taught to reject or deny parts of who we are which can manifest in a sense of emptiness and interfere with our ability to bond and connect authentically with others. When this happens we can turn compulsively to substances, sex, gambling or other unhealthy behaviours to cope. Issues from the past even those out of awareness can be worked through effectively over time, provided a person feels safe and accepted. Often individual therapy has to do with discovering who you really are and developing the courage to more authentic.
Areas of Focus
Infidelity, Restoring Emotional Connection, Communication Skills, Intimacy Issues, Rebuilding Trust
Family Discord, Navigating Family Transitions, Divorce, Parenting Issues
Anxiety, Phobias, Depression
Addictions (Pornography, Substance Abuse, Gambling)
Grief, Coping with Loss
Procrastination, Goal Setting
Spirituality, Existential Crisis